Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, bore him no children. She had an Egyptian slave whose name was Hagar, and Sarai said to Abram, “You see that the Lord has prevented me from bearing children; go in to my slave; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai. So, after Abram had lived ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her slave, and gave her to her husband Abram as a wife. He went in to Hagar, and she conceived, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked with contempt on her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, “May the wrong done to me be on you! I gave my slave to your embrace, and when she saw that she had conceived, she looked on me with contempt. May the Lord judge between you and me!” But Abram said to Sarai, “Your slave is in your power; do to her as you please.” Then Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she ran away from her. Gen. 16:1-6 New Revised Standard Edition, Updated Edition (NRSVUE.)
Last week, I complained about my constant and recalcitrant lack of prayer in a prayer/book study group that a pastor friend had invited me to join. To be helpful, some members suggested employing an ancient practice known as “Centering Prayer,” which might enrich my personal prayer life. One of our members, a retired United Methodist Minister, teaches seminars on this practice. I have tried the practice before, but it didn’t seem right for me.
Another member suggested an even older practice called “Lectio Divina.” The gist of the practice is to choose a short passage, read it several times, center one’s thoughts on the passage, and see what God reveals from it, usually a word or phrase that seems to predominate one’s thoughts or spirit. Then, one lets that thought “play out” in one’s mind or spirit.
It sounded like a great idea, so I downloaded a book with scripture passages arranged for the practice of Lectio Divina and tried it out. The authors of the downloaded book had arranged the book with passages from Genesis to Revelations.
They listed the passage quoted above, Genesis 16:1-6, as my first passage. As I read, I was thinking of a situation in my domestic life that I don’t know how to face or want to face but that I will eventually need to address. It’s weighing on me, and I know change is coming at some point.
I already felt bad when I started, so I pressed on until I came to verse 6. At that point, a pit the size of a grapefruit sprang, fully grown, into my stomach almost immediately.
Yes, I read the verse; however, I didn’t read the whole passage or didn’t read it closely because what I read was, “Abram replied, “Look, she is your servant, so deal with her . . .” as the NLT translates it.
“[S]o deal with her…” grabbed me. Straightway, as Mark the Evangelist would say, I thought, “I have this situation and must deal with this domestic situation now. That’s what the Spirit is saying to me.” That thought threw me into a panic and caused me to climb into my freaked-out tree. I didn’t want to face the situation now. I thought of and drew scarce comfort from a quote from W. C. Fields, who once said, “There comes a time in every man’s life when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation.” But, I wasn’t ready emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, or any other ally to “face the situation.”
As I stewed in my own juices, providentially, Amy, my daughter, the family counselor, texted me on a different subject. I took the opportunity to unload on her in a reply text, giving an account of what had happened and unburdening myself at her expense – but then again, that’s what only children are for. I wrote the following missive (if the word “missive” can be applied to a text message.)
I don’t know if it’s physical or mental or spiritual. It would take a long time to explain; everybody doesn’t need to hear it if you know what I mean. I have episodes of fatigue and mild cramps . . . I’m worrying about . . . myself and off on spiritual tangents. I’m a mess. I’m lonely and scared. You’re the first person to whom I have voiced this. I try to do errands and housework, but I stay away from the house as much as I can until it’s time to go . . .
Amy took the hint and called me “straightway.” She suggested that I reconsider the supposed “guidance” from the scripture. Perhaps,” she said, “it doesn’t mean what you think it means. Maybe you have ‘jumped the gun – gone from A to Z without considering the letters in between.”
I took her suggestion, calmed myself, climbed down from my proverbial tree, and re-read the operative passage slowly and thoroughly. I picked up on the part stating, “Deal with her AS YOU SEE FIT.” Reading the whole passage gives it a different meaning entirely. Had I continued on the course I was contemplating, reacting rather than acting, I probably would have tragically “fouled in my nest” to the detriment of all concerned.
What a rookie mistake. Read the whole thing, dummy!
As I reflect on the situation and the passage, perhaps, as is usually the case with scripture, while it means what it means, how it applies can have applications within applications.
I jumped the spiritual gun. That’s a fact. But, in a different way, so did the actors in the passage ‘way up at the beginning of the post.
Sarai jumped the gun in suggesting a form of “surrogacy” to Abram. Abram jumped the gun in accepting her offer. Both of them jumped the gun, not waiting for God to act as He had promised. And they compounded their “gun-jumping” by hanging the now-pregnant Hagar out to die.
There’s a whole ‘nother lesson in this fiasco affair. That lesson harkens back to my original problem and “claws back,” a practice that has worked for me for years but that I stopped.
Why am I experimenting with methods of prayer that have not worked for me as they have for countless others before when I am, at this very moment, engaging in a practice that does work for me – journaling.
Back in the days of Covid (remember that?) I used to spend time almost every day journaling what I believed the Spirit was saying to me in a passage or even in a natural event, like a squirrel walking up to me to give me a message. But then I quit.
Since then, my prayer life has been, shall we say, “not up to acceptable standards.” (Read that, “non-existent.”)
Journaling’s not everybody’s thing, but neither are the myriad other practices of prayer and sitting with scripture, which do that sort of thing. But it’s my thing, and I think a lesson here is to do the thing God has blessed me to do – journal. Perhaps I’ll share some of my writings with you. Maybe they will speak to you, maybe not. But If a squirrel can bring a message, perhaps I can, too. (Come to think of it, I’ve heard messages from “two-legged squirrels” before.)
As we know, it’s not me talking any more than it is the squirrel; it’s the Spirit, or at least it should be. God works in mysterious ways, doesn’t He?
So let it be written, so let it be done.
johnthebaptist15 